This weekend in the news...

Here's a summary of the news for those of you two lazy or self important to actually pay attention to the workings of the world around you.

• The UN peace resolution

Rejected by Lebanon for silly reasons. All Israel wanted was to continue to leave troops in their country, is that too much to ask?!

• WMD

Half of the US still believes that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, despite any proof to support this claim, and dozens to support otherwise (like patrolling the entire countryside after we removed the "dangerous regime" and finding nothing). Why? Who friggin' knows.

• Iraq & Lebanon

For awhile, the war in Iraq was Iraqis killin' Iraqis. We can thank our friends in Israel for attacking Lebanon, now it's returned to Iraqis killin' Americas. Whatever would we do without you Israel?

• Less Oil

8% of US oil production comes from a field in Alaska called Prudhoe bay (what a name). Apparently she's sick of gettin' drilled so she ain't givin' anymore oil (I had to do that, but it's funnier than the real reason). So get ready for another increase in oil prices.

• Cindy Sheehan

Well, she started up again outside Bush's ranch. Who cares. One person protesting again and again, and...? Not interested in the opinion of one zealot. If protestors reached a record high in numbers, that I'd like to hear. We don't need semi-celebrity political zealots. Especialy those who don't even have their own radio show.

• Scholars for 9/11 Truth

A group, lead by academics, called Scholars for 9/11 Truth is aiming to expose a supposed conspiracy theory around the 9/11 incidents. The main arguing point is over whether or not the towers were brought down by demolition or the planes. What do I think? I dunno... I think that's the best position to adopt.

There you go you lazy bastards. Congratulations, you've avoided being responsible for your own political education yet again. The founders of this country weep at your failure of responsibility.